I will re-post this every year..
Today marks the 11th anniversary since my Dad’s death, and you would think it would get easier, but it doesn’t. Last month when we had that incredible snow day here in Texas, I decided I would throw on a sweater, it was quite chilly outside. I wasn’t thinking anything of it, I went in my closet and I grabbed one of my dads favorite sweaters. They’ve been hanging there for years collecting dust , so why not grab one of those? The minute I pulled that sweater over my head it hit me like a ton of bricks. The grief that had been hidden down there came up and I was simple overwhelmed. It took me a few minutes to contain myself. Grief is a funny thing, you never get rid of it, it’s something that lives with you everyday even when you don’t realize it. It just sits in your soul waiting for something to trigger it, and that sweater was my trigger. I miss my dad so much it hurts..he’s been on my mind all day, I will miss him forever..but thank god life does go on and all you can do is keep them in your hearts.
Today is a sad day for me, it marks the 10th anniversary of my dad’s death. I sit here and wonder how the time has passed so fast. My dad is Louis Harold Garelick and he passed away on March 10,1999 with Esophageal Cancer. I never heard of this type of cancer till the day he called to let me know. Of course he reassured me that everything was going to be fine. Isn’t that what parents do, tell you everything will be fine. Just hearing the word “Cancer” put me in a panic . He decided to have surgery and we were assured that they had gotten all of the cancer and he would be fine. Since I live in Texas, I flew out after the surgery hoping he would be awake but there were some complications so he was sedated. I flew home without having a chance to talk to him. He went home in January and he thought everything was fine, but to our dismay it was not. He returned to the hospital to find out that the cancer had spread. He made the decision to be sedated and have chemo. In the meantime I flew to California with my kids and moved in with my brother and his family for 3 months. I enrolled my kids in school, mind you they were 8,6 and 2 at the time. My mom helped with the kids while I drove to UCLA Medical to sit with him and wait for the inevitable. Nothing is worse than sitting there hoping and praying for some kind of miracle, knowing it will never come. I would sit and talk to my dad, hold his hand and tell him I loved him. I remember being young and holding his hand and thinking how big and strong he was. I don’t know what it is about little girls and their dads. They see them as hero’s, as these big strong men that can save the world. As I sat there I thought this cannot be my dad, but it was, the cancer had taken everything from him.
As I sat in that hospital room I thought this is one of those moments where I don’t want to be here, yet i wouldn’t miss it for the world. Even though I knew what the out come was going to be. My dad had his whole family around him at the time of his death. Everyone telling him goodbye and that they loved him. As I sat there after his passing I looked out side and noticed life continuing as normal. All I wanted was for the world to stop for just a moment to say “Were sorry for you lose”. But life isn’t like that, it just goes on. My dad was 56 when he passed, he had so much of life ahead of him. I so wish he could see his grand-kids, I think that’s the part that hurts the most. I would have given anything for him see the incredible people they’ve become. He also had a younger son Jake who was 4 at the time, who has grow-up without knowing his father.
He was a good man, he loved his kids more than anything. I always knew if I need anything he would always be there. He had an accounting firm and he had all of his kids and other family members working for him. I think he liked to keep us close. I always remember waking up at night when I was little and hearing him laugh so hard as he watched Saturday night live. I remember when we would be swimming and he could hold his breath from one end of the pool to the other. I thought that was so awesome. He could always do the perfect jack-knife, (that’s were you dive and touch your toes). After Church we would stop at the local liquor store and get ice cream or Hey- Day cookies. He would sit in the bathroom forever brushing his hair, then he would use a ton of hair spray. He said he had “happy hair” and that it talked. He had a great sense of humor. It’s just those little things that mean the most.
I thought i’d leave you with a few of his favorite quotes, he liked to say these on a regular bases..
*The solutions to yesterday’s problems, are today’s problems* *He chased her until she caught him**What you do speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying**
*What have you ever done for me?**This too shall pass**Take no prisoners**Don’t cloud the issue with the truth**Pay attention to minor details**
*Think before you talk**No good deed goes unpunished**Don’t touch**If I had to bet on a really smart guy or a beautiful woman, I would bet on the beautiful woman everytime*
I’ll continue to do what he wants and that’s to Keep livin’
Words cannot express how much I miss my DAD..He is
forever in my thoughts..
I LOVE YOU DAD!!
by Julie
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