Many people dont know that the story of Rapunzel is a true one. A story of romance, heroism, and that strange tower with no doors.

Rapunzel of course is a fake name. The real name of this beauty was,

Brianunzel.

(Bree-on-un-zel)

Its a really long story so I have to kind of cut it short. Just like what happened to her hair.

So one day a chivalrous knight discovers that strange tower with no doors and only one window.

He yells “Hello!”

Short story shorter she stumbles upon a vile of pure immortality.

She drinks it.

And here she is. Unchanged for hundreds, possibly thousands of years. A rare creature of unadulterated gorgeosity.

(Gor-ge-os-ity)

I had to make up a word to describe her.

If you find a better word just keep it to yourself because nobody wants to hear it.

Brianunzel is my princess.

Hair and Make-up by Haley Garelick

They say every time a bell rings an Angel gets its wings. But what if that Angel already has wings. In this instance a curious things happens.

Double wings.

What is the difference between wings and double wings?

Super sonic flight, Mind control, The ability to eat Asparagus, and two more things that I cannot name due to sworn secrecy.

Now what if that that Angel’s name is Angel?

Simple, She becomes an agent of counter espionage.

I’m kidding of course.

She actually becomes Angel Squared. A Planetary Savior sent from the Galactic Alliance.

She has the ability to freeze men with her beauty. Sometimes she just wears a tutu and blows peoples minds.

This girl…. Hold on a sec. I checked Wikipedia.

So she is either a Planetary Savior or the killer known as Jigsaw. One or the other, I’m not sure.

I love you Ms. Pickles!

***It took me three hours to write this because I would look at a picture for what seemed to be a few seconds but was actually fifteen minutes.

You can see some of Angel’s modeling work at http://youarethefirstinmonths.tumblr.com/

Hair and Make-up by Haley Garelick

“Kirby-o, Kirby-o, Wherefore art thou Kirby-o?” Famous words spoken by the maiden Juliet, written of coarse by Shakespeare.

I’m pretty sure that’s how it went. I mean, he was obviously referencing Michael Kirby. Look at the guy.

He is a stud. He is a man that men look up to. His eyes stare straight into your soul and I sure don’t mind.

He has aged surprisingly well considering the story was written a good four hundred years ago.

But no need to question that.

I have went ahead and done some extensive research. I have learned that Kirby-o and Juliet is in fact a real story. Shakespeare embellished the warring families part. And the death part.

But most of the rest of it is true. Just ask him about it.

Oh, and Shakespeare’s real last name was Frank. Shakespeare was a pseudonym.

William Frank.

That doesn’t sound good at all.

Today we have  special treat for all you ladies out there. You might know him.

He was one half of the writing team for Good Will Hunting as well as the star.   But you probably know him more the the Bourne films.

That’s right. MARCUS MCLAREN!

(Women Screaming)

Matt Damon is his stage name. It’s a funny one at that.

You can’t deny his good looks. Or the fact that he sucks you in with his stare.  This man is a legend.

And he is so modest. You would have no idea he is super rich by the car he drives.  The grandma Cadillac.

(Women Screaming Less)

Be sure to see his newest movie that hits theaters this summer.

My Normal Life: The Marcus Mclaren Story

And if you don’t think he looks like Matt Damon then just pretend he does.

Even though he does….. Mostly. Kind of. Ya.

Look! In the sky. It’s a bird, It’s a plane, nope it’s Superman. Just kidding, it’s someone better.

Superman never saved my grandma from that tree. But Sara Powers sure did.

One look with those beautiful green eyes and my grandma fell right into her arms.

What are her super powers you may ask? How about the power to make your knees buckle, an immediate loss of thought,  loss of speaking ability, and the power to make you, uh, sweat…. a lot.                                        

And then you, uh, have her smile.

Sorry, I’m nervous.              

She is beautiful. But that in itself is not a super power. That is just natural beauty.  Superman wishes he could be as beautiful as her.   

But he never will. Don’t tell him I said that.               

Oh, and in one of the pictures there is a train behind her. Ya,  she saved that train full of people from a giant sea beast.