Babe Ruth did it in nineteen something something.

Barry Bonds did it in…. ya that one time.

Brian did it in half the time of those two. But what did he do?

Baseball.

Don’t follow? I promise you the math is sound.

One good looking guy + that same good looking guy + a sprinkle of miracle whip = Baseball

I have checked it numerous times. It always comes out the same.

It wasn’t easy to get here though. He battled many villains.

A chain link fence….melted by reflecting the sun off of his smile.

A truck…. crushed under the weight of his pure awesomeness.

A bat…. was his only ally.

Yep, half the time.

It was a great year when he accomplished all of this.

Two thousand something something.

The world will never forget.

Everyone starts out as a bug. Katiebug to be precise.

But nature will take its course. Nobody stays a pupa forever.

They cocoon.

Usually the cocoon is made out of grass, sticks, and some sort of adhesive glue. If no glue is available the next best thing is duct tape.  

They will then remain dormant for weeks, months, or possibly years. Once that period ends they emerge as a:

Katiefly

Katiemoth

Katieflea

Those don’t work at all and barely describe how beautiful she is. No earthly creatures work so I am going to have to go mythical.

Katiemaid (Katie+Mermaid)

Katiecorn (Katie+Unicorn)

Those still don’t work. They don’t even scratch the surface of her deep blue eyes. Hmmmm….

Something to describe her beauty, radiance, and just overall awesomeness….

Wait! I know….

Katie.

Perfect.

There are two types of people in this world. Those that can and those that cancan.

Whats the difference?

Rebekah can light up a room with her smile.

Rebekah can shut down a mans heart with the blink of an eye.

Rebekah can make someone…. uh, Forget stuff.

Ya.

I on the other hand am a person who cancan.

I dance the cancan and that’s about it.

Do you see the difference now?

Oh and don’t ask me to cancan for you because I will be too embarrassed.

Many people dont know that the story of Rapunzel is a true one. A story of romance, heroism, and that strange tower with no doors.

Rapunzel of course is a fake name. The real name of this beauty was,

Brianunzel.

(Bree-on-un-zel)

Its a really long story so I have to kind of cut it short. Just like what happened to her hair.

So one day a chivalrous knight discovers that strange tower with no doors and only one window.

He yells “Hello!”

Short story shorter she stumbles upon a vile of pure immortality.

She drinks it.

And here she is. Unchanged for hundreds, possibly thousands of years. A rare creature of unadulterated gorgeosity.

(Gor-ge-os-ity)

I had to make up a word to describe her.

If you find a better word just keep it to yourself because nobody wants to hear it.

Brianunzel is my princess.

Hair and Make-up by Haley Garelick

They say every time a bell rings an Angel gets its wings. But what if that Angel already has wings. In this instance a curious things happens.

Double wings.

What is the difference between wings and double wings?

Super sonic flight, Mind control, The ability to eat Asparagus, and two more things that I cannot name due to sworn secrecy.

Now what if that that Angel’s name is Angel?

Simple, She becomes an agent of counter espionage.

I’m kidding of course.

She actually becomes Angel Squared. A Planetary Savior sent from the Galactic Alliance.

She has the ability to freeze men with her beauty. Sometimes she just wears a tutu and blows peoples minds.

This girl…. Hold on a sec. I checked Wikipedia.

So she is either a Planetary Savior or the killer known as Jigsaw. One or the other, I’m not sure.

I love you Ms. Pickles!

***It took me three hours to write this because I would look at a picture for what seemed to be a few seconds but was actually fifteen minutes.

You can see some of Angel’s modeling work at http://youarethefirstinmonths.tumblr.com/

Hair and Make-up by Haley Garelick